Everything fades
Dear Exile,
Guess what happened today
I couldn’t control it again
I woke up and didn’t know where I was
I looked around, didn’t recognize
The room I was lying in
It was dark and wet
I felt rather than saw the red flood
All around me
I was covered in it
My hands clutched the sheet covering me
They came away wet in the color red
I tried to get up, my head felt heavy
Like it would explode into tiny pieces
I don’t know how I got here
I don’t have any memory
I think I’m losing reality
My memories are fading
And I think I am too
I try to grasp at them desperately
But I can’t reach them
I’m standing on the edge, leaning forward
And funny enough I want to fall
I can see my life flash in front of me
Snippets of past gone by, snapshots of my life
I see it all in my mind
Of a little girl, her family, her happiness
With her onyx eyes, raven hair
I wonder if anyone ever knew her
I wonder if anyone knows who she is
I wonder if I know who I am
I feel like I am no one, a nobody, a nothing
I feel as if I don’t exist.
I struggle to sit up, feeling the cold seep in my bones
As I sit up dizziness grounds me, I see red
So much of it around me
I stumble off the bed and my legs give out
I can’t run, I can’t get out of this
I want to, for myself and for this pain
I again attempt to get off
Eventually I stumble my way to the edge
But where is the exit
Everything is so dark, I can barely see
In the dim light I find a mystery
I see a figure, oh wait it’s a mirror
On the far wall where little ray of light filters in
Seeping through the darkened windows
I step closer and the vision becomes clear
It’s like looking at me through a spider’s web
It’s broken, the image of me
But I see the girl, long lost
With raven hair and onyx eyes
She was so young
I see that girl I lost long ago
She was life, she was good
I close my eyes at the pain in my chest
Of things long lost, of things long past
I open my eyes and gasp
I blink again and I see him
He’s standing right behind me
Hello, my love, I’m glad you’re awake
His fingers sift through my limp hair
He leans in, his face right beside mine
And then he grins and whispers, ‘Welcome home.’
Then everything fades
And I am no longer
Regards,
LilMissOracle
This one started out to be something else and ended up being something entirely different. Goes to show my emotions all haywire. Urgh! Need to find my center. Need to be in my zone.
